Here's what I think...

I think fucking McDonald's should put fucking breakfast on fucking special all fucking day and all fucking night. Furthermore, I think your late night menu is a crock of shit. I am also mildly upset because I'm fairly certain I have no beer left...however, I'm too afraid to go to the kitchen and confirm my nightmare.

Stupid girls put up with too much drama and bullshit from piece of shit ass fucking guys and they should learn to respect themselves and push the douche bags to the side. You are beautiful and you are better than that. CHECK YOURSELF AT THE FUCKING DOOR AND STOP LEAVING YOUR DIGNITY AT HOME!!

TBS...what do you even stand for? The Bullshit Station? What are you even known for? You show the most random shit and 87% of the time, I could give a flying fuck about what is playing on your bullshit channel. Get it together.

Dear Manager of Open Pantry on Regent Street, It would be much appreciated if you would honor my request of ordering the pomegranate flavored 5 hour energy. I come in every day...sometimes multiple times per day. I promise to buy at least 10 per week if you would please please please please please just get it!! Thank you kindly.

Tour de France? How bout Tour de go fuck yourself. I think that sounds better. Why the hell do any of you idiots get enjoyment out of watching a bunch of one-testicled fuck tards ride bikes? It's the dumbest thing I've ever seen.

The other night, someone offered me heroin. It was awkward. I politely declined and asked if I could SUB Black Haus. No dice.

What's up with this slow motion bullshit on the telly right now? I honestly am not sober enough to try and decipher my perception from reality.

Shout out to Badger Cab for always (for the most part) pullin' through. You, along with drunk me, have really helped sober me out. Props.

Anti shout out to Miller Lite, you're getting old.

Anti shout out to Texts From Last Night...lately...to be honest, I've got two words: weak sauce. Let's take a shot and re-group.

Anti shout out to poaching the SO and ASO from Badger Herald

Well, I think I've vented enough and hopefully offended someone. Peace, Love & Cocktails :)