Ever left the house before, Carl?

I think that every person should have to buss tables, wash dishes, serve tables and bartend before they are allowed to play this game of life. I can't even begin to tell you how many times a day I would like to say "You sir, Carl, are a fucking idiot." If a server/bartender approaches you and says "Hi, how are you today?" Don't respond with your drink order or what you would like to eat or that you have friends joining you...that wasn't the question, dick. A simple "Fine, how are you today" will suffice. If I ask you if you would like a drink and you respond with, "No, I'll just have water," you sir, are a fucking re-tard. A glass of water is a drink. If you need service, do not wave your arms in the air like a paraplegic in the ocean, do not bang your cocktail on the bar and certainly do NOT call me buddy, chief, champ, kiddo, or barkeep (fuck you, Lynnpool), I know you are there and I will be with you momentarily. Any of these actions will warrant a bitch slap to the face...or me spitting in your food (just kidding, I don't do that...or do I?) In conclusion, go fuck yourself and have a nice day :)